Silence

I’ve been told by several people recently their lawyers are advising them to “not bring up the abuse’ in negotiations, mediation, court.

This infuriates me.

When you are married to a coercive controller, every second of a survivors life is affected by that. Every moment of their day is influenced and dictated by abuse. The only reason for the divorce is because of the abuse.

And now we have lawyers - who are supposed to be advocating for survivors - telling them to be silent?

Silence is what abusers rely on. Silence from their partners, from their family & friends, from society, from the legal system. And they are getting exactly what they want.

Breaking the silence means we have to tell our stories. How can a judge or a mediator or anyone come to a fair and just decision when the biggest impact on the marriage is omitted?

How can anyone think it’s okay to silence a person who has already been controlled, silenced, and manipulated?